“Limitations tend to be illusions or self created barriers.” ― Steven Redhead
Even though you can’t tell from this picture, I am sitting on a boulder that is about 9 feet tall and the boulders in the front are even taller. If you don’t know me, I have a fear of heights. It’s gotten worse over the years actually. I don’t like that I have this phobia. As you can imagine it gets in the way sometimes and limits me on the trails.
This photo was taken from the Castle Rock hike over the weekend. At Castle Rock, if you want a nice view of the lake you have to climb the boulders. I pushed myself to climb up the boulders to a point where I am scared but not panicking. I really wanted to go further to the boulders in front of me. I heard myself saying, you can do it! Just keep walking! But I couldn’t move one more step from here. As it always does, as I stopped moving and started listening to my inner voices fighting with each other on top of this boulder, the fear grew quickly and it immobilized me instantly. I felt the panic coming on. I sat and took a deep breath. I was scared but I didn’t want to go down right away. I resisted my wanting to go down to the ground where I’d feel safe. I didn’t want my fear to win again. Xena eventually found her way up and stood next to me. She looked uncomfortable with the heights too. Could that be my doing? I turned to her and said, ‘Well, we did it, Xena. I am ready to go down now.’ With that, Xena hurried down.
Do you have a phobia that gets in your way when you are doing things you love? If so, what are you doing to overcome it?